


Hatefuck

by Lunabellie



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Casual Sex, Gay Sex, Hurt Mo Guan Shan, M/M, Porn, Sex, Unrequited Love, mostly angst, unspoken feelings, yet it's not really unrequited love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 04:24:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8357080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunabellie/pseuds/Lunabellie
Summary: There's no point in candles if their fire never burned.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Characters belong to Old Xian, I pretty much own nothing.

***  
Locking eyes for the very first time and seeing that stupid smile, he knew he should have stayed away.

He Tian looks sleek. His aura screams unapproachable. Dangerous. Cruel. Unfeeling. The list heaps on the more Guan Shan glares.

He should have left then, and never looked back.

***  
After many more run ins with what he personally considers his ‘enemy’, Guan Shan is positively convinced that they have nothing in common. They’re polar opposites, he decides after a recent confrontation with his freakish enemy.

But one day he sees He Tian watching some white haired guy with a wistful expression on his face, and as he walks away he wonders if they have nothing in common except for their problems and pain. 

***

White haired guy turns out to be a dickhead, and his buddy is just the same.

Guan Shan is no stranger to heated arguments and brutal bashings; and he’s just itching to start something. He can feel the tension on the tip of his tongue, and he’s ready to break it.

But then He Tian shows up, and it’s all over from there.

***  
“I always win.” He Tian tells him one day, and laughs carelessly when Guan Shan scowls.

“You don’t,” Guan Shan says, “That’s not even logically possible.”

He Tian ruffles Guan Shan’s hair and grins, “Of course it is. You only think like that because you don’t always win.”

Guan Shan resolves that he hates this guy and will make sure he one day eats his own words.

***  
Months have flown by, and within those months their their relationship has changed into something Guan Shan can’t even put into words.

He doesn’t know He Tian. Not really. Not in the way he should, seeing as they are sleeping together. Shouldn’t they know each other better? He wonders this into the early hours of the morning. 

***

He throws back his head and yells when He Tian slams inside of him. He hears He Tian chuckle and mutter something before he feels teeth pierce harshly into the skin at his neck. He hisses and jerks away, and He Tian let's go.

God, Guan Shan hates this man.

He allows He Tian to rock back and forth, stretching him wider and entering him deeper with each push. His gasps are swallowed up by the other’s hungry mouth, and he can feel himself coming undone each time the hand at his cock pumps.

Yes, he hates it. But he’s the one who shut the apartment door behind He Tian when he let him in. 

“I’m gonna-” he hears himself groan.

“Mmm,”

His toes curl as the pressure becomes all too much, and he cums all over He Tian’s hand. He feels weightless, like he’s on an all-time high as euphoria grips him. His overly sensitive body trembles as He Tian continues to thrust into him, but he doesn’t even feel it when he cums.

He reasons later, when he’s alone and the afterglow of sex has long-since faded; that he does this because he’s young. This is normal for young people to experiment, it’s normal for someone who is so insecure to let themselves do this once and awhile. It’s okay- it’s normal.

He clings to this thought days later.

***  
He has to be careful when he’s getting changed in the locker room. He doesn’t want the other guys to notice the bruises on his thighs and the carpet burns on his elbows.

He Tian doesn’t care about the marks on his neck, Guan Shan notices. He shows them off with unabashed pride and let’s everyone speculate who they’re from. 

He Tian smiles whenever anyone asks where he got them, and tells them whatever lie he thinks they want to hear. But he keeps them on display.

After all, these marks are the trophies of their love.  
***  
“I love you.” He Tian tells him one day.

Guan Shan glares and says, “No, you don’t.”

He Tian shrugs and asks, “What am I supposed to do? It’s all I’m good for.”

Guan Shan doesn’t answer him.  
***  
Another few months have passed, and He Tian has gotten himself a girlfriend.

Sure, he still fucks Guan Shan whenever he feels like it, but most of his time is spent with this girl.

Guan Shan tries to ignore the hot, bubbling anger that sears inside of him whenever he sees the two of them together, but he can’t. He has to look away, or go someplace else. He doesn’t know why it bothers him- it just does.

When he confronts He Tian one afternoon, he tells him to dump her.

The next day, there’s a new girl hanging off his arm.

This goes on for awhile, and eventually Guan Shan tries to live with it. He reasons to himself that there’s simply no point, and if he wants to keep his relationship with He Tian he’s just going to have to accept it.

***  
He can’t take it anymore.

It’s past three in the morning, and he’s screaming down He Tian’s apartment hall. He throws himself against the locked door and tries to punch his way through. He’s crying, he’s yelling, he’s drunk, but most importantly he’s hurt.

Because he’s with her again, and this time he’s sleeping with her. He’s sleeping with her instead of him. And that hurts.

He Tian has the gall to open the door nude, and Guan Shan doesn’t hesitate to hit him. They brawl on the living room rug, and the girl won’t stop screaming. Guan Shan ignores her, and doesn’t stop hitting until security comes and hauls him away.

He should be thankful that they just throw him out and don’t call the police. But he doesn’t care. He somehow manages to get home and throw himself onto his bed. 

He’s sobbing and crying like never before, and when he’s done he just stares at the ceiling feeling more empty than ever. 

He curses himself. Sure, he told He Tian not to sleep with any of the girls. But He Tian never listens.

And Guan Shan never learns.

***  
“I’m sorry.”

“You’re not. But that’s okay, I never should have overreacted like that.”

They’re sitting together after school, both covered in bruises and bandages from last night’s fight. Rumors have spread like wildfire, yet neither of them have done anything to quell them.

“No, I really am. I said I wouldn’t sleep with them, but I did. I broke your trust.” He Tian says.

Guan Shan just tips back his head and laughs without humor, “Since when have you ever listened to me? There was never any trust to break!”

He Tian’s face has gone taunt and his eyes have hardened, “You never trusted me?”

Guan Shan stops laughing, but smiles and shakes his head.

He get’s up and brushes imaginary dust off of his pants. He doesn’t look at He Tian.

“Let’s just end this here, okay? There’s no point in doing all this if we feel nothing for each other.”

He still doesn’t look at him when He Tian catches his sleeve and asks, “You never felt anything? Nothing at all?”

Guan Shan tugs himself free and walks away.  
***

**Author's Note:**

> Yo! I don't know what this is, I just really can't stop thinking about this couple whenever I hear the song "Hatefuck" by Cruel Youth. You can spot the lyrics in this if you listen to the song. 
> 
> This is mostly just practice writing. I posted it because I'm somewhat happy with it. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
